Buried in the Op-Ed section of today’s Times-Standard is this stunning, er, revelation from contributor Dave Stancliff: Angels exist! This will no doubt be shocking news to the 17 percent of (hell-bound) Americans who have until now denied the existence “God’s Ambassadors.”
“These blessed spirits are armed with the authority and might of paradise,” Stancliff evangelizes. “Angels bring healing, perseverance, creativity, joy, and solutions to the problems and circumstances of our human condition.” After checking the masthead to make sure I hadn’t picked up an extra-large issue of Watchtower by mistake, relief washed over me. Did you hear that, economic crisis? I’ll mail you a copy, Afghanistan. Any other problems or circumstances care to step up? The T-S has a message for your ass: “[T]he universality of angels cannot be denied.” Booya!
CORRECTION: It was Sunday’s edition, appropriately.